Saying goodbye - final blogpost

We've been getting lovely notes from all over with stories of how Lynn touched lives. Special thanks to all of you who communicated with the family during these last few weeks.

Things are settling down....Thanksgiving holiday was different.  I think I've only been away from Lynn on Thanksgiving twice since we started dating many years ago. Jono and I made the best of the day, driving down to Silverton in the morning to see the Oregon Gardens, and joining friends Beth and Greg for a great potluck dinner. The foodie ethic of Portland means that all dishes are guaranteed to be super tasty, and artfully labelled for  every possible dietary restriction. Special kudos to Olive who can make anything out of balloons.

Deborah, Jess & Nicole, Jono, and Dana & Meghan, along with Deborah's mom and brother Dave and Lynn's siblings Jay, Fred and Marta will all be in Austin for a memorial celebration of Lynn's life next Saturday December 6 at 10 am at the Whisenhunt Stage at Zach Theatre. If you are planning to attend, note that this is the small theatre in the round at the Zach complex.... Park on Toomey Road or in the lot on Toomey Road just west of Lamar and come in through the door facing Toomey Road.

Lynn tried very hard to retell a few riffs from a comedy monologue the last week of his life when friends would visit. Impossible to understand the routine since Lynn was laughing so much. Here's the script for Bob Newhart's "Driving Instructor"  for those who were curious, particularly if you laughed along with Lynn despite having no idea what the jokes really were.

This photo that we used in the Austin obituary is from when Lynn visited me in Prague a few summers back. It is one of my favorite images of Lynn - relaxed, surrounded by beauty and history, slightly skeptical gaze, with a lot of love and wisdom behind those eyes. And a blue sky and long view.

He lived a full life and we are all enriched from his connections to each of us.

So long

Our last post was so upbeat...this one has sad news. Lynn passed away Thursday morning. Deborah was there with our hospice nurse and our Visiting Angel care giver, who made sure Lynn was comfortable in his final moments. Jono arrived at the apartment an hour or so later, after picking up Nicole from San Diego. The three of us began to call friends and family. Dana, Meghan and Jess arrived later Thursday night. Lynn was diagnosed with lung cancer in July, 2013 - and managed through the disease with grace, wit, and an ongoing concern for those around him. He had a few things he wanted to complete before his death - attending the two weddings, seeing Glacier National Park, and, if things went his way, to outlive his father, which he did.

Today, Friday, we have been completing calls, settling affairs, sending back medical equipment, returning the apartment to a more normal layout, and exploring next steps. Been grateful to friends and colleagues who have called and sent notes of love and care.

Lynn told his friend Becky Beaver on Monday how grateful he was for the past three years of being retired - enjoying bicycling, family, and the Pacific Northwest. His friends have sent thoughtful words of care and memories of Lynn's large impact on the lives of so many.

Jono will host an open house for Portland area friends and family on Monday Nov 3 4-6 pm at his home at 1204 SE 30th, Portland. Deborah will fly down to Austin on Wednesday Nov 5th. We're organizing a small informal gathering for close friends at Christy Moore's home on Sunday Nov 9th 3-5 pm at 1605 Woodlawn Blvd, Austin.

A memorial celebration will be held at 10 am Saturday December 6th 2014 at the Whisenhunt Stage art Zach Theatre in Austin.  As per our family tradition, Lynn's ashes will be scattered near Lake Ninevah in southern Vermont.

In lieu of flowers, you may send a donation in Lynn's name to one of his favorite causes - Doctors without Borders or Amnesty International.

Thanks to all of you for helping our whole family through this journey.

New routines

We're settling into new routines, as Lynn shows his characteristic force of will and continues to be aware, awake and alive. Son Jono spends a few nights here each week and has been indispensible bringing good cheer, helping hand and energy every day; daughter Dana joins us with Meghan on the weekends, and Jess and his bride Nicole will come up from San Diego in the next few days.....they are in and out every few weeks now. The Hospice team sends a nurse 2-3/times a week to evaluate Lynn's health, and provides lots of attention, supplies, advice and help. Other Hospice visitors are also terrific - providing bathing, social work, and respite times so family can take a break (last week we were able to leave Lynn on a friday night while we went to Jono's band concert - and brought back a video to play for Lynn).

We have great support from Visiting Angels so that Deborah can manage the day to day of keeping Lynn comfortable and also get time for her to be out and about.  We have fewer visitors as Lynn seeks more quiet - but he continues to enjoy having us read emails and share internet photos and jokes. We're in search of a few magic remedies so Lynn can get his voice back, otherwise just settling in to this journey which seems to have its own timeline and pathways.

Halloween is around the corner -  here's Lynn's trick from last year. He'll likely be Spiderman this year!

Transition times

Quoting from a note Lynn sent last night to a group of friends and family:

"I am transitioning to a new phase in my illness. I'm very tired and it's hard to get around. I've moved my base of operations to the living room where we have set up an electric bed to replace the electric chair. We also replaced the rickety wheelchair after a fall and now have a larger reclining wheelchair to test out. Paul, Cicily, Meghan, Dana and Jono will be here this weekend. It means a lot to know that you've called, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. Right now it may be more helpful to send an email. Deborah will read them out to me and I'll respond when I can. Much love, Lynn"

 Despite this very serious change in circumstances, Lynn continues to excercise his impish self. Last week he was totally into spiderman. He and Corey, the Visiting Angel ( a group that's been incredibly helpful providing staff at home to help me) took the light rail to get a spiderman outfit. Here's a photo of him with his mask and with Meghan and Dana.

  And he still is insistent that we water the roses on our apartment balcony every day.

Wedding Belles

We had a grand time celebrating Dana's wedding to Meghan LeFrancois Hanson last weekend. Three days of partying - and Lynn was in great form! The wedding itself was at a community center overlooking the Puget Sound and Whidbey Island's ferry - perfect weather and a cast of 150 - friends, family, and many kids who had grown up with Dana and/or Meghan as nannies or teachers. The festivities included beach balls, twirling, a Charlie Brown flash mob dance, home brewed beer,  lovely music,  cupcakes of all kinds, and some very special glass plates - gifts from Meghan's parents to all the wedding guests.Official photographs come later but here are a few uploads.

Lynn came home and slept for 4 days! Definitely happy to have been part of this special occasion, and especially pleased that so many family members from all sides were in attendance.

So what's next for us? Upcoming visits from Lynn's Austin friends - Craig Davis, Cicily Sims, Paul Balmouth, and Becky Beaver....into November. We've been sent lots of movies to tickle the funny bone  - some more my style and some more Lynn's. We're reading The Moth podcasts outloud. And we're figuring out how to manage as Lynn becomes weaker and has increasing difficulty getting up and down.

We've signed on to Legacy Hospice - will meet with their team October 1st. Hospice provides home-based care for people with terminal medical conditions. They also have a facility that can be used if necessary. Their work is about controlling symptoms and providing comfort, not about curing.

So, we enter a new phase in this journey. 

Monty Python keeps us laughing

Yesterday was the follow up with my oncology doctor after a CT scan earlier in the week. The scan shows new growths, but we are waiting to hear back from the doctor on whether this means the chemotherapy is still working and how to proceed. The doctor and staff all expressed admiration that I have made it this far - the official diagnosis is to have fun at the wedding this weekend and take lots of pictures. In my opinion, what has helped me get to this day has been humor in how I approach the day, what I listen to, and how often I laugh. My son, Jess, who came to visit three times in August, got me listening to comedy radio programming and we started watching comedies, including the Marx Brothers films.
After my son, Jono, returned from his climbing trip in the Northwest Territories of Canada, he washed his clothes and put on a collared shirt for our trip to Ashland with my brother Fred. Ashland sits at the bottom of I-5, almost on the California border, 4-hrs from here, which has one of the only 9-months long artistic residencies in the US. We rented an oversized Model Ford while Deborah's car was being fixed, which was a boon to our trip, allowing us to carry the wheelchair, baggage and a few grown men without any problems.

The Tempest was great, as was the wonderful sequel to Robert Schenkkan play, "The Great Society" (Robert's nephew, Ben McKenzie is starring in a new show "Gotham" starting on Fox this weekend). I was in stitches during the performance of Cocoanuts, enacted by some great Marx brothers imitators, including some great slapstick and improvised comedy.

Picture from the performance of Cocoanuts

I've had a good number of visitors since our trip to Ashland, including my brother, Jay, my cousin, Brad, and my brother-in-law, Gordon. My friend Garth Corbett is coming at the end of the month and Craig Davis, from Austin, will be here the first few days of October - people continue to visit and I welcome them.
I continue to find humor to be a good addition to my days. We found the Monty Python films another excuse to laugh, and I watched three of them with Jay.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Jono made me suffer through "Point Break," his favorite film of the summer and I don't want to insult Keanu Reeves because he is a federal agent, but the guy cannot act his way out of a paper bag.
The focus now is on the wedding this weekend where our daughter, Dana, is marrying her great partner Meghan.

Jono, Jess and Dana at Jess' wedding in May

I'm looking forward to the wedding and seeing all of my siblings and in-laws. It's pretty amazing how many people are coming together for this event.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Yesterday I went  with Deborah and Austin friend Christy Moore to see "Guardians of the Galaxy" to enjoy a distraction from the mountains, waterfalls, cancer care,  and Pearl District lifestyle.  Very odd set of heroes have  come together to save the galaxy - each has its unique look and manner. Lots of great special effects and odd machines!

Guardians of the Galaxy movie heroes

Using more and more technology in my life to get around reminds me of what a sacrifice it would be to give up a prosthetic limb, especially for the amusement of a raccoon genius (if you haven't seen Guardians of the Galaxy, you won't understand this reference. However if you do go to see this movie, go late because the number of previews overwhelms what is pretty much a very silly movie). One of the recurring gags is about not understanding metaphors ("Nothing goes over my head because my reflexes are too fast")...making for a running theme the rest of the evening. The music was inspirational - note Christy and Lynn dancing to Michael Jackson inspired by the "mix tape" featured in the movie.

Lynn and Christy Moore dancing to Michael Jackson

I continue to be blessed by visitors from all parts of the galaxy, especially Austin. People from all over, including friends from my local bike club, are taking me out and visiting. I enjoyed the bike club picnic recently, where Deborah's brother David and I won raffle prizes.  Friends are giving me strength,  humor and optimism, and provide respite for Deborah who can go off to work, to run, to shop, and to take off for events out of town. Was able to get friends wet on a boat ride on the Willamette River.

Portland summer weather is perfect, albeit a bit dry - firefighters are fanning out around the state.
Second round of chemo last week -so fatigue has set in for a while. But with the walker, the wheelchair, a prosthetic to help me hold things and good friends and family, I am managing to do most everything I need to (except handwriting!).

Scene from OSF The Tempest

Next chemo is Aug 28th. We are off to see Shakespeare and Schenkkan before that - attending 3 plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival with Deborah, Jono and brother Fred.

One play will be "The Tempest" - what can it tell us about life?

Next stop, daughter Dana's wedding north of Seattle Sept 21st with all her aunts and uncles (plus Grandma Joyce) scheduled to appear !